Life

In HIS time…..

April 5, 2012 By Joytimesfive Leave a Comment

Almost five years ago I found myself in a situation needing to communicate information to masses of people….. for my own sanity.

We had just given birth to a 25 week preemie and keeping everyone updated was a challenge.

And it was then that my blogging days were birthed as well. In the beginning of this journey I used this space to share medical updates with close family and friends. Over the years I have continued to share my heart about life and family. About 2 years ago the Lord laid it on my heart to move my blogging focus to more of a faith based focus. It was a hard transition for me….. but, I accepted HIS call. During that transition, this blog took on a new name and a new format and my writing shifted from self focus to an eternal focus.

These past 2 years have been some of the most blessed times in my writing. Our God has clearly led me and given me words to share with all of you….. my readers.

About 6 months ago I began to struggle with words to convey in this space. And so, I began to pray. Asking God to reveal to me HIS desire for my writing…… and if it should even continue. I would like to say that I waited patiently for HIS reply however, those who know me well know full well that patience is NOT my forte…. I wrestled and I cried and I shouted out to HIM on more than one occasion. I grew frustrated and I wanted to throw the towel in and finally I resigned myself that it just was not my season of writing.

I had reached a place of resolve…. one where I could be at some peace with not sharing words on these pages but one that also waited with hope for what the future would hold.

A few weeks back, after spending many days, weeks and hours on my knees……………. I heard HIM. And, I finally had a clear vision of HIS plan for me.

I know now that my season of writing is NOT finished….. but I do know that for just THIS season, my writing in this space is finished. The Lord has called me to write my chapters in another format these days…. and so, I must be obedient to HIS call.

I will still continue my writings for Sister’s In Bloom during this time. These women have touched my heart deeply and they are 33 of the most beautiful people I know. They encourage me in these days and uphold me when I waver. You will be able to see my Sister’s in Bloom posts right here on my page as well… but, as for writing regular daily and weekly posts here in this space…. it will be quiet for just a season.

I am excited by the opportunities that God is placing in front of me and I will embrace them fully as HE intends for me. And, because our God knows me well…… He has not set me on this journey alone….

I am honored and blessed to come along side one of the most beautiful women I know…… to share story through words.

I ask that you would continue to pray for us as we enter into this new chapter in our writing life. Pray for HIS wisdom and discernment…. and HIS continued blessing. Pray that He alone would give us the words to reach the hearts of women…. near and far.

My friends, you have blessed me BIG here in this cyberspace home of mine…… I cannot wait to share this new journey with you when the time is right……

But for today….

Be BLESSED as you have blessed me!

Filed Under: Faith, Life

For Such a Time as This….

February 21, 2012 By Joytimesfive 2 Comments

He works diligently and for years he has put in his time. Hours spent, beyond countless hours, a slave to daily tasks. Routine evils that rid out fears of insecure people. And he talks about environments as though they live and they breath… like flesh. But hard pressed he is, to get a response from a callous piece of metal sitting high upon a rack somewhere in the great wide open…. of a state far away. And no forgiveness is necessary when the technology fails. Only forgiving ourselves for the foolishness of our thoughts.

But there are men in this place…. with hearts beating and wounds running deep. And they wager war on the souls of those alive. Their words cut like a steel knife straight through the middle of it…. leaving the outer edges exposed and the inside churning like butter, raw.

In a place where egos fight and pride runs rampant this man sits, surrounded by cloth covered walls, a ceiling filled merely with air and the noise of this world clamoring desperately for his attention. And he wears the struggle in his outward appearance, stress over taking day by day. Circumstance suffocating life.

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:44 NIV

He utters it in a sentence, hushed under his breath…. a fear almost holding him back. It’s like the unknown. The unfamiliar territory of doing the exact opposite of what seems comfortable, by this world’s standards. And I hear him, “How do you do it? Pray for those who persecute you?”

I swallow hard and he’s seen my challenge, years in the making… the transformation of a heart, once molded almost in stone. Glancing at him I pass a reminder… that HE still moves stones.

But there are expectations and the workplace is no exception. We want to control and not be lost by control. Our emotions engage and sometimes we regret. There are disagreements and we have to agree.

And, there is freedom even in the barriers of cloth walls where dead air renders hatred… Because, we have a confidence in a known God. Entrusting HIM with all the unknowns beckoning worry from our world worn, weary souls.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33 NIV

He whispers it again and I question back, “What about forgiveness? What about the Cross?” And, what about the God man who trudged through streets with the weight of our sins on His back, his face smitten and his body beaten, Him all scorned?

This is how we pray for those who persecute us, we pray in forgiveness.

There were two that day, who hung beside HIM. One a murderer, the other a thief. And in HIS agony… HIS deep pain, he cried out, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” Luke 23:34 NIV

HIS words are etched on my soul like a signature, symbolizing ownership, a belonging. And on the hinges of my heart they tug at me. And I am reminded of my own sin, my dark moments spent filled with pride and discontent. I am like the murderer, who has killed the plans that HE has for me, clinging to control. And I am the thief, who steals joy at the hands of my own selfishness. I am the walking wounded, begging forgiveness from a God who forgives.

I am the persecutor and HE prays for me.

I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. John 17:9 NIV

Fling wide the door to your heart and let the redeeming love of the God Man sink in, pray without ceasing…. that we might also be forgiven.

This is how we pray for those who persecute us, we pray in love.

We pray steadfastly, a change in the beat. A rhythm rhyming with a heart aligned. On our knees we see the persecuted and HIS lens gives clarity to our call. Grace washing over us at the foot of the cross, like streams of living water…. giving life to the lifeless.

Persecutors pray and are washed by grace, attaining freedom to forgive and pray in love… for those who persecute us. To THIS we are called.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and FORGIVE WHATEVER GRIEVANCES you may have against one another. FORGIVE AS THE LORD FORGAVE YOU. And OVER ALL THESE VIRTUES PUT ON LOVE, which binds them all together in perfect unity. LET THE PEACE OF CHRIST RULE IN YOUR HEARTS, since as members of one body you were called to peace. Colossians 3:12-15

Filed Under: Grace, Humble, Life, Prayer

If You Really Knew me: You Would Know…

February 7, 2012 By Joytimesfive 6 Comments

A couple of months back my oldest child came home from school excited to tell me about a game they had played in his language arts class. I remember at the time I was quite impressed with the principals of the game but even more impressed with what his partner had told him when they were sharing together.

Just this past weekend this whole idea of “If you really knew me….” came up again. This time at church. During a communion thought… when someone shared about experiencing this same thing with a group of children the same age as my son. So, it must really be a middle school thing….. but, I think it’s an important thing.

Aren’t authentic relationships formed on foundations of trust and isn’t transparency key to the vulnerable low places that unlock the secrets of our heart for others to see?

It’s funny how God brings you to those places isn’t it?

And it made me think…. How willing am I to go to that place of transparency and vulnerability to risk trusting at all costs, the God of relationships with my very own relationships? And, how transparent am I willing to be with you…. my readers.

So I figured we could have a little fun here today… not your normal type of post sort of thing. We can let down our hair and we can share and be silly and maybe even a little serious too…..

IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME…. YOU WOULD KNOW:

I am the youngest of three children.

I was the only girl.

My brothers were 7 and 8 years older than me.

One brother wanted to trade me for a puppy.

Mom wouldn’t let him.

Of the three kids, I am the only one still alive.

My middle brother died in 1975.

My oldest brother died in 1995.

We moved a lot when I was younger. It was part of my dad’s job.

I have lived in 6 different states…

And I attended 9 different schools between Preschool and High School.

I attended 2 different colleges….

and I graduated in 3 1/2 years.

I have a BA in Speech Communications…

and a minor in Psychology.

I secretly only like those things….

but I am passionate about nursing.

Maybe some day I will go back.

I AM AN AMBULANCE CHASER…

and it makes my family crazy!

I met my husband in High School.

I was a sophomore.

He had graduated…. He robbed the cradle. (for the record)

When I first met him…. I despised him. Like, deeply disliked him.

We dated for 4 years before he proposed…

and it took another 2 years before we would marry.

We bought our first house BEFORE the wedding….

and didn’t take our honeymoon until 6 months after the wedding.

We both LOVE Disney…

but one of us just a bit more.

I worked for The Disney Company for 5 years….

and I am secretly thinking of doing it again.

We tried for 4 years to get pregnant with our oldest child.

Infertility got in the way.

He was born at 34 weeks…

and spent 34 days in the NICU.

My mom couldn’t see him when he was born because she was sick…

but my dad was there within minutes.

One of our closest friends….. was someone we met in that NICU.

God’s good that way!

When he was 2 we decided we wanted to try all over again…

Infertility got in the way.

She was born just 9 days after he turned 4.

She was preemie too….

But, she came home with us.

My marriage started to fall apart.

There were affairs.

It was ugly…..

for at least 4 years.

But, God stuck with us.

I am not really sure I liked the counselor we paid $110/hr.

And I am quite certain she probably didn’t like me either.

And that’s ok.

God had other plans.

Without even trying…. I found out I was pregnant the day my oldest turned 8.

Naturally.

He was born way too early at 25 weeks.

That was after 4 weeks on strict bed rest.

He spent 137 days in the NICU.

He had 5 surgeries before he came home….

and his lowest weight was 12 oz.

My marriage hit the skids again….

and this time, I left my church.

Walked out for 3 years.

I worshiped at home….

it’s called sleep.

And….it didn’t help.

It actually made it worse….

because I thought God had abandoned me.

I was wrong.

It turned out….. I had abandoned God….

And I found out….

you can run from God, but you can never outrun God.

He found me.

And today, I am raising my 3 kids in HIS way. And my husband and I…. we are on more solid ground than the day we met….. Because, there is grace. And, I don’t have the most perfect house…. heck if you looked at it today you might think I needed a maid because it is surely messy. I hate doing laundry and I hate folding it even more. I’m really not much into mopping or sweeping either… and for that matter, cleaning toilets doesn’t really rank up there that much either. But, thankfully… My husband doesn’t mind doing any of those things. I am a tomboy at heart and I really try to be girly girl… but I don’t think I am very good at it. As a matter of fact, I might avoid it because I feel I am not that good at it. Most days you can find me in jeans… and a nice shirt. I like to collect shoes… and I have a nice collection. When I was younger I didn’t like dresses either… and those ankle socks with frilly lace, yeah… totally not me. Give me a pair of Nike’s and I am one happy girl. I’m not much into exercise but it’s a necessity…. because God didn’t make me naturally lean. And, I have learned to be ok with that. Classes at a gym freak me out… because I don’t like people watching me make a fool out of myself. I do love to lift weights though and I could walk on the treadmill for hours with the right combination of music and video. I am passionate about my friendships and I work diligently to plant seeds of friendship. I am learning… that sometimes, it just doesn’t work out. But I also learned…. when it doesn’t work out, it’s usually because God has something better in mind. One of my best friends took her life in October…. and I am still grieving her loss. Even so, God has seen me to a place of launching a new women’s ministry. Based on authentic, real friendships. And so, I will honor my God and I will honor my friend… because both have shown me authenticity.

But, more than any of this… you need to know this:

I AM CRAZY IN LOVE WITH JESUS!

And at one point in my life I would have looked at someone like myself and called them a Bible beater… or a religious fanatic. But now, I don’t see it that way at all…. Given free time, I would choose to spend it with my nose in a Bible Study or reading my scriptures. It’s just who I am. I secretly would love to go back to school and take theology classes. I find the ties between the old and new testament fascinating. And, I crave more. I do devotions daily and recently…. my husband started doing them with me. It was scary at first… but I love the time we spend together.

And more than anything…. I want you to know that I am just like you. Broken and messy and just making my way through life in this world. I see this as a temporary stop along the way to an eternity in HIS kingdom. I make mistakes and I am forgiven. I need grace far more than I need to give grace most days…. and I am thankful that HIS grace is for me. I like to consider myself the vessel by which HE tells HIS story and I get so excited when I think about the fact that HE cast me in the starring role.

So what about you? If you were answering my question…. what is it that you would share? If we REALLY knew you… what would we know?

Pop us a line in the comments and let us know what you are thinking…. I would love to get to know each of you better. I would love to pray for you and do life with you.

Filed Under: Faith, Grace, Life

A Year of Grace…

January 4, 2012 By Joytimesfive 1 Comment

I remember this time last year….. I sat in my office, my head in my hands, a million thoughts circling in my mind.

For years I had watched people around me make resolutions.

NEW YEARS Resolutions…..

And for years, I had watched them fail. Reckless abandonment of commitments made within mere weeks of committing. It always seemed so self defeating to me.

As I sat in the stillness, the answer became clear to me. It wasn’t more resolution I needed…. It was more than a temporary commitment. I needed so much more of my God than a resolution could give me. I needed to make a life changing decision. A commitment that I could see through…. from beginning to end. I needed to give my God the permission to move in me, in ways like never before.

So in the quiet I cried out…. Reveal to me Lord, your way for my year. Let me hear your voice that I might know…. your plan.

And the answer was simple.

ONE WORD.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

I cried…. not out of happiness. These were NOT tears of joy.

I cried for the work that this meant. For the reality of what my God saw in me……

And I started out the year with hesitation. I started out feeling as though I was defeated without ever having left the finish line.

GRACE.

The one topic I had avoided at all costs in my writing. Perhaps even in my life. And HE was bringing me here….. to this place of utter discomfort. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t grasp it. And, I certainly didn’t want to embrace it and make it mine. It was so uncomfortable for me…. that running almost seemed like a viable option. Except I didn’t.

Instead….. I prayed.

Open my eyes to see…… all THIS, through YOUR lens of GRACE.

And there were conversations with friends and prayer and sermons on GRACE and conversations with pastors and more prayer.

I spent a weekend in April surrounded by 15 beautiful women, from all different walks of life. We spent the weekend immersed… heart, mind and body… in GRACE. The team of women that lead us… fed us! Spiritual nourishment that sank deep into those hardened veins of mine. The beginning of a year long transformation unveiling itself before my very eyes.

GRACE.

It seemed I could not escape it…..

As the months went on it seemed to get easier. Easier to love people the way our God loves them and easier to forgive the way that He shows us to forgive. It began to get a bit comfortable……

Spring came and He showed us His hand in this life and the GRACE tank ran low….. digging from the depths of my soul I poured out love to my children, explaining to them…. a mother who takes her own children’s lives.

Merely days later, as we set out to entertain the best summer ever…. news came. A high school friend….. gone too soon. And again I reached deep, digging with all I had…. just to find GRACE.

With school out it meant a return to the ball field….. the boys of summer always loved to play. But this year, it was different. The season started with a ceremony. Not typical of recreational ball. A remembrance of a fellow player and his father… killed in a tragic car accident. And in my agony I cried out again…. where Lord…. did you hide GRACE?

The phone rang that day…. and I heard her tears. Couldn’t comfort her pain as she shared with me…. the sudden passing of her mother. Her best friend. Gone.

And it seemed that my heart would break more.

GRACE Lord?

It had been months since his diagnosis…. a father dying from cancer. In peace they said goodbye…. hope waiting in the wings.

And her email…. it struck me. We mentored them for months when their son was born too soon. Many hours we gathered round the NICU bedside…. we laughed, we cried, we prayed. It seemed her husband had fallen ill. No mind can comprehend a mother…. unprepared for the goodbye. She whisked her children up and held them close…. for now, they were all she had.

And GRACE Lord?

The summer came and the summer went and it seemed that life was getting back to normal. Kids ran off to school and sunsets seemed to get shorter. It appeared as though the circle of life was beating on in the world around us….. There was skating and scouts and Bible study and youth group and fishing club and extracurricular activities galore.

And there was the night when the phone rang…… and my heart sank at the salutation. I knew the horror before she even whispered a word.

And GRACE Lord?

When you stand in a pulpit before hundreds of people… and you speak about a 14 year friendship that is now gone. When you look in the eyes of two beautiful children…. and her parents Lord. Where….. where do you find GRACE. And each morning when the sun rises but the phone doesn’t ring…. and you nere hear the voice that greeted so cheerfully. When the Starbucks doesn’t get the order and Christmas’ are spent alone…..

WHERE is GRACE?

There were twenty two in all…. in our circle of friends. Twenty two lives well lived…. Twenty two hellos and twenty two tearful goodbyes. Twenty two angels who sit round the throne.

And GRACE is on that throne…. and in the trenches and on that ball field and in the heart of that mother. GRACE rides on the wheels of cars driving kids to school and in the tears of mothers streaming joy. GRACE is in the mud puddle out beside the park and in skinned knees of kids who run too fast. GRACE is in the sunlight that warms us and the breeze that cools us. And GRACE is in the memories tucked away of loved ones gone before us.

GRACE reigns.

Triumphant.

Because of a passionate God who loves us more than the world over…. An ever present help in our times of need.

He is GRACE.

And His promise holds true even when hearts are breaking and it seems life cannot go on…..

And it seemed only fitting that on the last day of the year…. we saw GRACE in the eyes of a friend…. as she said her vows, pledged her life…. to the man she had prayed for.

Yes, GRACE….. my friends, it’s all around.

And so….. we bid farewell to a year of GRACE.

Holding HIM ever close to my heart and carrying HIM with me wherever I go…..

I embark on a New Year.

A new task set before me.

ONE

New word….

HUMBLE

ONE

New scripture to guide….

And I pray for the GRACE to see it through……

Filed Under: Faith, Grace, Humble, Life

A RESOLUTION…. For the New Year

December 13, 2011 By Joytimesfive 6 Comments

Last year at about this same time someone asked me what I was going to do for New Years. As in….. are you making a resolution?

I must have looked at them oddly and quite frankly, they probably thought me a bit quarky.

Why?

Because….. I don’t do resolutions.

I simply don’t care for them. I never have.

As a child, my parents never really talked about the new year in a sense of making a new commitment. In the sense of promising themselves something new and wonderful in terms of a changed individualistic behavior. We just didn’t talk about it. The new year for us was just that…. a new year on the calendar. And, depending on where we lived, the opportunity for the countdown to warmer weather to begin.

But, I admit… I am intrigued by those who do make resolutions.

I am always interested to see just how long they last. Some have incredible perseverance while others give up with relative ease. Some choose an easy goal while others make lofty choices that make attainability almost impossible.

Almost always, I am sympathetic to the lack of commitment to carry through.

When my friend posed the question to me last year…. in addition to the odd look, there was a personal level of thought that was given to the idea itself. I revisited my own feelings and emotions around this whole hoopla of making a “New Years” resolution.

What I decided was this….. Resolution is good if we resolve to remain steadfast and committed to that which we hope to achieve.

And so, I researched.

I know…. cheesy at best. But, it’s what I had to do for myself.

I had heard them talking it up for a few weeks. The station that is. K-Love to be exact. But, it was just that…. ramblings on the radio that went in one ear and out the other. But, this particular day, in the middle of this whole resolution thought process, somehow what they were talking about caught my ear…. and I felt compelled to check it out. To investigate further.

Last December, after a long and lengthy debate with myself and my God…. I decided I did need to make a resolution. A commitment for the new year.

I swore I would never do it.

But, I am thankful that I did.

It has been the single most important thing that has changed my life over this past year.

It has changed my perspective.

It has changed my relationships.

It has changed how I love.

It has changed how I forgive.

It has changed how I talk.

It has changed how I act.

It has changed how I worship.

It has changed my faith.

It has changed how I LIVE!

It has given me the freedom….

To be just what HE calls me to be.

ALIVE…. in HIM!

Chosen. Beautiful. HIS.

And it all boils down to this…… A commitment to ONE WORD!

Yes, you read that right.

A ONE WORD resolution.

No need to hop on the treadmill. No need to buy a new wardrobe. No need to get a fancy new gym membership. No bank account required. No disappointment necessary. No calendar to check off.

Just ONE word.

Only one bit of preparation necessary…….

Prayer.

My friends, I urge you this year, if you are looking for a resolution….. one that you are CALLED to….. that HE has given to you….

That you research the My One Word for the Year movement.

It is a commitment to letting the life giver change your life.

It is an invitation to open your heart for the transforming powers of our God and King.

It is the opportunity to be blessed beyond your wildest imagination.

I promise…. YOU will have NO regrets!

If you are ready….. to start thinking about your “New Years” Resolution, you can check out this incredible opportunity by going to MY ONE WORD

Will you join me? Just click on the link above. Join in on the fun. Prepare your heart for a multitude of blessings today!

I dare you…

And, if you feel like sharing….. click on that link at the top, the one that says comments…. and let us know what you are thinking!

Filed Under: Christmas, Encouragement, Faith, Life

Discovering Joy: A Series of Letters on Authentic Friendship

November 30, 2011 By Joytimesfive 1 Comment

Juanita-

I have seen recently, many posts on friendships… There are many discussions on this subject, many women hurting, including you and me. We both have recently suffered a hurt from women we know, whom we thought were friends, but their actions behind our backs told us otherwise. Isn’t the true measure of someone’s character what they decide to do when no one is looking?! We both have felt that betrayal head on.

So what, dear friend, do we do with this hurt? If we hide behind it, we mask it, and we tend to be unwilling to take a risk as a friend in the future. It is a hard thing to risk again being hurt. But we can ask our Lord to protect us in this risk and to guide us and shelter us.

I believe then, that in order to find that authentic friendship, one must be authentic herself. I am currently reading Emily P. Freeman’s book, ” Grace for the Good Girl.” Emily tells us on page 56 that to be intimate and vulnerable with everyone would be a problem… but it is important that we tell “someone”. I count myself blessed that I have those close friends that I can be vulnerable with… but what if you don’t have these kinds of friends? That fake mask that most of us carry around could be “overcome” if we simply allowed ourselves to be honest with our GOD, and to trust HIM to lead us in being vulnerable with people. (pg 56)

Enter our LORD! He will give us the discernment and the courage to risk. I believe the risk is worth the blessing of the result. We are twice blessed if we seek, and then if we do find that authentic friend! If I am me, and you are you, then together HE will help us be authentic with each other. Since HE knows our paths, and what the desire is of our hearts, HE will sustain us and give us safety with each other.

Yes, we are all flawed as people, and as friends. I know that the ONLY authentic friendship that exists is with my JESUS. HE is our best example of what authentic, genuine and sincere can look like. There is no ONE friend here on this earth that can measure up to HIM as our friend.

So why should I even try to be that authentic friend? Because as Emily Freeman says in her book: ” there is more power in sharing our weaknesses than our strengths.” And here is the answer to being authentic! Our weaknesses shared with others, is our authenticity and HE will meet us there, right in the middle of it… to love us, and give us compassion and guidance with one another.

In this I realize that JESUS is my answer in an authentic friendship… when HE is square in the middle of that friendship as an anchor, I just need to hang on and I can’t go wrong!

And so I ask you… with the way our world is today, it appears that there are MANY women without that authentic friend… so why do we try so hard to impress each other, rather than embrace each other? Will we EVER stop hurting each other and take our masks off?

Blessings to you my sweet authentic, dependable friend… I look forward to your answer soon!

Proverbs 27:9 ” The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.”

Abiding With HIM,

Max

Filed Under: Discovering Joy, Faith, Friendship, Life

A Seasonal Interruption….

November 29, 2011 By Joytimesfive Leave a Comment

Buckling my seat belt, I settled into the car and traveled along the road. The final event of the weekend was complete. My eyes were tired. My back was sore. My feet felt as though they had walked for miles. There was turkey and family and shopping and birthdays and meetings and and and…..

There was NO quiet. There was NO break.

So today, I made time for quiet. I made time for a break.

And just as I had covered myself comfortably with the blanket. You know, snuggled in just so…. that optimum comfort had been achieved, my eyes quickly became heavy and I began to drift off.

And the phone rang.

And then there was the text.

And the phone rang again.

And then there was another text.

And then there was his inquiry….. do you know where my shirt is??

And then his inquiry…. can you change the channel for me?

And soon, the nap time timer had ticked from 60 minutes down to a measly 8 minutes…. and it seemed that rest was not in the plan for me…. again today.

But I wonder…. Is this how we miss it? How we miss seeing God in the middle of an ordinary life? When we make it about ourselves and we become consumed with doing more and being more when he simply just calls us to BE. Is this where our will takes over and the autopilot runs until we can run no more….. and when the engine quits is this when we turn? Is this when our fervent prayers become uplifted and we beg for just a moment?

And isn’t it in those moments…. the moments when we were running and we were eating and we were celebrating…. wasn’t it in those moments too…. that HE was there? The unseen guest at the table. The quiet passenger in the car. The door holder and balloon carrier. The strength and the stamina. The grace giver and love liver.

YES… HE was there.

But there was food to prepare and reservations to be made and gifts to be bought and a clock ticking away.

And then THERE was Martha… happy as a clam. An inner child feasting on the mundane tasks of doing…..

And today, Martha was interrupted. Her plans were derailed…..

And her God begged for more Mary.

So when that phone rang….. and the text messages came and the inquiries and the tasks and the everyday…..

HIS echoes rang out… HIS small voice speaking to me:

Come and sit with ME my child. Sit long. Talk often. You won’t be disappointed. I AM your best friend. I don’t care about the food and the reservations and the gifts and the celebrations. If you feast at my table…. you will never go hungry. Make a reservation to sit at my feet…. THIS, the only daily reservation. I AM the gift…. the giver of life. In ME, all things are made new. Celebrate today by giving thanks….

My friends, our rest is not found on couches with blankets. Our rest is found in a Savior…. The Christ Child birthed in the cold of night. Our rest is found in following the star along with three wise men… Bringing only our finest gifts. Our rest is found in HIS word and when we give thanks we give the rest up to HIM. So this season, amidst the craziness of this world, let us sit at the manger. Let us be away from it all. Let us bow our heads in humble adoration for a gift so small…. yet, beg enough for us all!

This Advent season I’m following the star…. IT shines on the reason for THIS season! Won’t you join me?

Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.

Matthew 2:2 NLT

Filed Under: Faith, Family, Life

That in Which We Speak of Praise and Worship…

November 22, 2011 By Joytimesfive 2 Comments

The service had ended and I made my way to the back of the church. Thinking to myself and reflecting. A process of sorts had begun. People around me carried on with chatter, seemingly wrapped up in the events of here and now.

And what is it that forms our worship? Gives meaning and depth and breadth?

Ascribe to the Lord, O mighty ones, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength. Ascribe to the Lord the glory due His name; worship the Lord in the splendor of His holiness. Psalm 29:1-2

I listen to their words and I am struck. Perspectives different. Lingering still.

And they whisper discontent over praise and hearts less than filled by worship.

And wasn’t it the same God that I had met in this place?

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. Psalm 63:5

And while we stood with hands raised high and voices ringing out…. ThanksGIVING transformed into ThanksLIVING… wasn’t this the place that we formed an altar of sacrifice… giving ourselves for the very real glory of God?

And isn’t it perspective that plays a role… shaping and molding…. a barrier for our praise?

And I wonder still how that would change. How perspective could morph…. if we only came with hands open and hearts ready to receive. How then would we worship? How then would we praise?

What if we left the worship agenda maker to tend to HIS agenda…… and what if we left our expectations at the door?

Isn’t it when we expect something from our God that we cut short HIS very ability to do the unexpected?

In worshiping without expectation we allow our God to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. And, aren’t we always blessed beyond measure when HE shows up in unexpected ways?

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; His greatness no one can fathom. Psalm 145:3

So on this Thanksgiving my friends….. how are YOU worshiping? Are your hands empty, bare…. ready to fill? Are the windows to your heart flung open…. in preparation for the goodness?

PREPARE my friends….. The time for WORSHIP is now! And, I don’t want to miss a thing……

How will YOU worship today?

Filed Under: Faith, Grace, Life, Praise

Discovering Joy: A Series of Letters on Authentic Friendship

November 8, 2011 By Joytimesfive 2 Comments

Oh my sweet Max-

I keep thinking back on the days we have spent together recently and I cannot help myself but to give thanks to a God who gives good gifts.

Friendship seems so hard for women now a days. So many have been wounded and most have retreated. Guarding their hearts and hiding behind well constructed pillars and beams. Walls surrounding them on all sides. Keeping feelings inside and sharing joys of intimacy with no one.

I am posting over at Max’s place today…. won’t you join me there to read the rest? It’s super easy… just click HERE

Filed Under: Discovering Joy, Friendship, Joy, Life, Love

Because… It’s all Relevant!

November 1, 2011 By Joytimesfive 9 Comments

Oh my sweet friends….

It’s been a while hasn’t it…. since you have seen my heart on these pages. His words in my words.

You see, sometimes our God interrupts our life…. for just a moment. To awaken us to new life…. and our characters are shaped by His shaping. Hands that hold and arms that cradle when hearts are breaking.

Four weeks ago today one of my very best friends took her own life. This life, this world… had consumed her. She felt worthless. She felt helpless. And, most of all, she felt she could no longer bear the pain. She was weighed down with chains of expectation that only this world can give.

It makes you stop really…. and think. Reflect if you will… on your own life.

You see…. Each day every single one of us is given a new deposit into our account. The account of life. We are so richly blessed with 86,400 seconds of choice each day. 1440 minutes to choose as we will. 24 hours to lay ourselves bare on the altar of His glory.

Do we live well?

Do we love well?

In this life my friends, we MUST choose to live well. And, we must choose to love well. We MUST robe ourselves with the lens of His grace. Choosing to see ourselves and others the way our Father sees us.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy an dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in you hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:12-17 NIV

My friend LOVED well. She loved more than well…. but she had no idea… How much SHE was loved. By me. By her other friends. By her family. By her creator.

And so, my heart was broken…. just a little bit more. For HIM.

And while I was breaking…. the breaker of hearts was mending. In HIS own way.

This past week I traveled long and far with my dearest friend to attend a Christian women’s blogging conference.

I went there expecting to learn about blogging.

I left there having learned not one thing about blogging.

But about myself.

And, seeds were planted in this garden. That I must tend.

You see, this blog…. is NOT a platform for me. It is an altar. THE very altar where I lay down myself and give my everything to HIS glory.

THIS is where I share my story. For HIS glory.

The first night of this conference I found myself seated amongst women who all knew each other. They knew each other well. I felt alone. I felt empty. I felt I had nothing to give. And the enemy dangled the carrot in my face…. you know the one.

The one that says… You are NOT good enough to be here. To be in THIS company. YOU are a NOBODY in this blog world.

And I listened for a minute. Holding captive my fears. Allowing them to rob me of the joy…. that our God intended for me.

I closed my eyes that night and I prayed.

Heavenly Father…

Open my EYES to see…. your goodness here in THIS place.

Open my EARS to hear…. you speak to me. Words of love to fill my heart.

I awoke early in the morning on Friday. The first full day. And, together with my friend…. we headed downstairs. To a room filled with 250 AMAZING women.

And I watched.

And I listened.

…. for HIM.

We had breakfast and breakouts and lunch and breakouts and dinner and entertainment. All neatly woven into the intricacy of HIS touch. There were tears and there was laughter. There were hugs and there was quiet solitude. And….

There was GOD in this place.

And a sisterhood of bloggers….. created an altar for HIM.

And I soon realized one thing:

….I can go unnoticed by man…. because, I am seen by the Son of Man. HIS eye is fixed on me. (Voskamp, keynote)

And, my story matters…..

And my identity does not lie in who I am…. but in WHOSE I am.

For some, blogging brings fame….. but, fame does not equal success.

To be successful in HIS kingdom, we must enter into a life of servant hood.

And I thought about her words….

What about being famous for Jesus?

Can I set aside my desire for fame? My desire for numbers? To be known by one number alone….

THE one…

To be THE number ONE in HIS eyes.

You see, she’s right…. There are NO rock stars in HIS kingdom… because in HIS kingdom we are ALL stars reflecting HIM.

And how amazingly beautiful to know that our God loves cracked pots. HE meets me right where I am… in my pain, in my brokenness and in my hurt. And he uses MY story…. for HIS glory.

And so my friends, I want to live well. And, I want to love well. I want to spend those 86,400 moments each day to HIS glory… not to my fame.

I want to be a KINGDOM BUILDER not a platform builder.

I want to share my story authentically that YOU too might know the GOD that I know in the most intimate of ways. I want you to see HIM working in me that you might let HIM work in you. I want you to FEEL his presence so that YOU might know HIS love…. the way I know HIS love. I want to pen the words of HIS story…… so that you might see HIS glory.

This my friends is what I walked away with…. a deep desire to get on my knees. To serve and not be served.

God has called me to ministry with this blog. And, he has called me to ministry in my community. And this ministry is not about picking up a microphone. It’s not about becoming famous….

It’s about carrying a cross.

It’s about being real. Right. Where. I. Am.

And I can do this…. right here, right now. Because….

Our God appoints people who will disappoint so that we can point to a God who NEVER disappoints.

And so THANK YOU…. to all of my sister’s in Christ who joined with me this past weekend. THANK YOU for touching my heart. THANK YOU for being JESUS in skin to me. For bearing your authentic self that I might SEE HIM. For speaking your words of love that I might HEAR HIM. And THANK YOU for the encouragement to go on…. to write the words of the ONE…. for only ONE! I will be forever blessed by all of you….. and though the miles separate us, each and every one of you rests in my heart and in my prayers… that our GOD would continue to nurture and bless each of you…. as you step out in FAITH to walk the path that HE has set before you.